blowing the rules

“This is so wrong” the tiny voice said. “you have been warned before…”
“Abeg shut up jare… do what you want to do quickly, there’s nothing bad in it” the second voice that spoke sounded harsh and more resolute than the timid first.

Quincy stood with trepidation as she allowed her inner voices to argue within her. Her voice of reason, the one she imagined as a miniature version of herself with a halo and wings wasn’t doing a good job. She hardly ever won any arguments against her voice of treason; the rebellious horned and tailed opposite.
Quincy knew the argument was just a formality to fulfil all righteousness. Fact was, as disgusted as other people might be, she enjoyed it and have enjoyed it ever since it had first happened about two years ago. She remembered she had just returned from school with a male friend of hers. Her mom, having just returned from the market had rushed out to get something else. It was during this brief period of her mom’s absence that her friend convinced her to try it. Being a curious fourteen year old,she agreed… It wasn’t the act itself that got her hooked, it was the exciting rush of doing something the society generally frowned at- the rush of being a rebel.

It was the same rush she was feeling now and this told her all she needed to know about ‘voice of reason’s’ chances of winning the argument. As if on cue, voice of reason finally gave in;
“Oya do it quick quick” it said.

As she drew closer to the bulging package, she remembered the only time mother had ever caught her; oh! the horror that had filled her face. She had received the scolding of her life, then lectures about how it was unbecoming of a lady to engage in such and how ingesting it could cause serious stomach problems…her mom was ever sparing the rod!!!

This happened six months ago. She had been extra careful to never get caught again. She tried to be as quiet as possible as she liberated it from what was its temporal jail cell-moments earlier, her mom had dumped her shopping hamper and rushed to her room, acknowledging the greetings of her friend with only a hasty nod.

It was a good specimen, long; about 7 inches and hard… Very hard; the way she liked it best. The vegetation that sprouted all around the root looked healthy and gave it a particularly earthy aroma. She could see tiny veins all around and the sight of them caused her to swallow. The room was eerily dark and silent. Her heart beat with a steady rhythym and her mind moved to the beat like Jagger.

She wet her tongue in anticipation- this was one of those rare moments when the mountain gladly went to mohamed. She drew it closer, bent her head and enveloped the tip with her mouth… The light in the kitchen came on, her mom’s voice rang out calling her friend to witness:

“Chai! Fine girl, please come and see what your disgusting friend is doing”

Quincy just stood there… Momentarily blinded by the bright lights. Guilt written on her face and shame dripping from her eyes.
“Ah-ahn Quincy, at your age” her friend said laughing…

Quincy just stood there…her head hung… the unwashed, half eaten carrot in her hands.


soul plane? tow plane!!!

Was scared out of my wits when I heard word of a plane crash landing in Lagos. I’m sure many of you felt the same way too. Don’t worry crazies, y’all have no reason to fret. This was just one of those situations when the truth seems more far fetched than the rumours.

According to a NEMA spokesperson, the plane spotted on the streets of Lagos last nighht/early this morning is the scrap of an aircraft that was evacuated from the airport last night after the Federal government issued a directive that all scrap aircraft be evacuated from all airports. The plane was spotted being towed along Mangoro and later seen at a gas station.

But really, is this the best way to move planes? Imagine you being stuck in a hold up, you look in your mirror and the car behind you isn’t a car at all…

More pics below.